Yesterday, this raccoon came up to my porch. It was the middle of the day so I was thinking, wtf, rabies much? The damedist thing happened. It spoke! It said “howdy”. So of course I said howdy back. Still wary of its presence but I’m polite like that. It said “I like your porch” I said “I do too”. It said “I want it”. I said you can try and take it but I’m country so………
It tried but I grabbed my BB gun and shot it in its ass. That spanking taught it a lesson and it ran off.
By the way, 0% of that is true lol. I just felt like rambling.
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