Author: twoshadesoff

Do mosquitoes get drunk when they suck the blood of someone who’s been drinking? And do they have mosquito cops to arrest them for “flying while under the influence”? Odd thought but there it is.

She was my best friend since 3rd grade. Basically a sister my entire life. Her mom was like a 2nd mom to me. She and I were so close for decades. I was always there for her and she was always there for me. I lost contact with her for a few years. She’s big…

Why do birds fly upside down over Alabama? Ain’t nothing worth shitting on. You can only tell that joke if you’re southern.

We only had 2 weeks together. Months before our first date I saw you and fell in love. Sounds cliche but it was love at first sight. I finally got the courage to ask you out 2 weeks before I had to move to Atlanta. We tried to make it work long distance but couldn’t…

Only one time. I was in 6th grade. I was “dating” a girl in my grade, but I held another girls hand. But that’s the only time I’ve ever cheated.

Can’t remember if I’ve posted this before or not. I spew so much verbal vomit it’s hard to keep track. Had a girlfriend who shall not be named. I was paying rent at my own place, and paying her rent which was more than twice than what I was already paying for my place. I…

I feel invisible. That’s all.

When I was a lineman in Vegas. I was working on improving the service for a whole neighborhood. It required me to interrupt service for half a second here and there. I was up in my bucket truck fixing something… again … half a second. A lady came running up to my truck yelling at…

You’re allowed to be naked as much as you want… it’s your day. Fun fact, in Toronto it’s legal for women to go topless in public. I’m pretty sure not many do, but it’s legal. Here she’d get arrested and put on the sex offenders list lol. Which is stupid. Men can go topless, why…

I have a sleep condition very similar to narcolepsy. Pretty much I’m sleepy all day every day no matter how much or how little I sleep. That annoys the fuck out of me so I tend to try to stay awake as much/long as possible, but that just makes it worse the next day. Tired…