Author: twoshadesoff

I stubbed my toe on a cactus. It hurt. That’s all

I was probably 5-7 years old. My dad’s GF took me to Disney world. Main thing I remember was Cinderella kneeling down and kissing my cheek. I really thought she was in love with me. I know she wasn’t.. but whoever you were, thank you for such a great memory. You gave a young struggling…

When I moved back to Vegas she said “I have to tell you something.” I said “you’re pregnant.” She said “damn you and your intuition.” I fell in love with her the first time I saw her. I’d have been there for her and her son and supported both of them, but she didn’t give…

Tool’s song Aenma is playing right now. I have no clue why but it reminds me of a girl I used to date. Even though she was an adult her family did their best to control her life which included interfering with our relationship. I liked her allot and I thing we could have had…

I’ve been with hundreds of women. Not bragging, it’s just a fact. Not once have I ever woken up next to her the next morning and thought “crap she’s ugly, I shouldn’t have done that.” I’ve always seen something beautiful in every woman. I’ve never regretted a single night. There was one girl though… and…

It’s cold and rainy. That’s all.

For those of yall who don’t know, they’re a type of bee. Much more aggressive than most bees. They make their house in a hole in the ground. Once when I was a kid I was visiting my grandad. He also lived out in the country and that basically means “pee where ever you want”.…

I was at a bar one night. I was talking to the girl next to me. She was pretty and so far I though she was cool. Then I reversed my decision lol. Told her how whenever I walk into a room anywhere that cause I’m missing an eye and wear an eyepatch the whole…

Went to California when I was 21. Back then, and who knows how much farther back they made the law that you can’t smoke within 20 feet of any public door. When I “lived” there a few years back I started to light my pipe, well away from any door and two cops yelled “are…

I have idiopathic hypersomnia. It’s basically Narcolepsy only I don’t hit REM cycles when I fall asleep during the day. People think that narcolepsy means that you fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Those people should do more research. I’m sleepy all day every day. I have to keep moving around or I…