Author: twoshadesoff

I make sketches for my goddaughter on a semi-regular basis. They normally take me 2-3 hours to make. But sometimes, I make one for the postal lady… her name is Jasmine. The mail people are under appreciated. So sometimes I make her one just to say thank you. I put it in the mailbox and…

First girl I ever truly loved. She broke up with me. Within 5 minutes … literally … she had the gall to ask me to drive her 30 minutes to drop her off at a get together with her friends. I started crying while I was driving her… keep in mind it was a 30…

When I was a kid living with my dad. We spent days cutting and dragging wood to a pile. By the time we were done it must have been 20 feet tall and 40 feet in diameter. He soaked it all in gas, made a gas trail back to where we were safe. He lit…

I used to love him. Then he pulled the whole “Chris Gains” bullshit. Tried to go “pop” by making up an alter ego. He even made a fake documentary about the life of “Chris Gains”. All that bullshit made everyone say “fuck him”. He was king of country at the time but it even made…

There’s a girlfriend I had once. I loved her enough to carry a .41 magnum for her. Even to a courthouse. If you read this you know if I’m talking about you.

I ain’t a big fan of his. I probably like about 20% of his music. But he died of a very painful cancer. So even when one of his songs I don’t like, I still sing along. RIP Mr. Keith.

We were an amazing couple. We were like jelly and peanut butter. Perfect mix. If I’d have communicated more I bet we’d still be together. Because of life stuff we lost contact and I don’t have your info anymore. Just know I still love you Melissa. And the marriage failure was all my fault. I…

When I was a kid, a horse fly landed on my leg. Dunno if you know what a horse fly is but their sting is like 1000 wasp stings. I had a knife in my hand and I swatted at it. My knife cut me almost to the bone. I was in a creek. This…

I think we’re heading to another one. I could go into details on my opinion but I think I’ll leave it at that. Night Y’all.

A bee landed on my face. They’re docile as long as they don’t feel threatened. So I closed my mouth (didn’t want it getting into my mouth or throat). Then I let it walk around and look for whatever it was looking for. I had a bee walking all over my face for around 20…