Author: twoshadesoff

Not every girlfriend but the last one, I’d have flowers delivered to her work once a week. If I couldn’t get them delivered I’d pick them up myself and put them on the windshield of her car. No matter what she got a bouquet every week. One day she said it kind of made her…

Every gf I’ve lived with I always kissed them while they were sleeping before I went to work. Dunno if they noticed or not cause they were sleeping but I always did. Guys out there…. Do that.

Every girl I’ve dated… my body heat is like a 200 degree furnace. When they’re feet would get cold I’d just put them on my chest or pits and cradle them until her feet were warm. I do stupid shit like that for those I care about.

I was homeless in Tijuana. Literally sleeping in the street. I met the kindest people there. I was sleeping for days outside someone’s house. She brought me something soft to sleep on. She didn’t speak a word of English. The next day she brought me 3 meals. Next day she brought me a few more…

I hope she somehow reads this. I don’t have her number and cant remember her name but she deserves an explanation. She texted me and asked why I was ghosting her. I didn’t respond of course because that’s the point of ghosting. I really liked her but she kept falling asleep during sex. She’s the…

I dated a girl once who wanted me to put my gun to her head during sex. She was kinky as fuck. That’s all.

I was at a red light. Someone rear ended me. I got out, walked to her car, she was terrified. I looked at both cars.. no major damage. I knew that it would be classified as “her fault”. Literally, she was trembling. I don’t know if it was because she thought I was angry or…

The only good birthday I’ve had in many years was my last when I got to see my goddaughter. I stopped having good birthdays in 2009 when some unfortunate shit happened. But this last one still warms my heart when I think about it.

Sometimes I watch the show “The Masked Singer”. Jenny McCarthy is one of the judges. I’ve had a crush on her since I first saw her as a host on MTV back when MTV played music videos… yes I’m that old. I gotta say, she’s aging well. She’s still hot as hell. Screw you Whalberg…

When I got to 1st grade they thought I couldn’t cut it so they dropped me down to readiness. It’s kind of between kindergarten and 1st grade. Come 5th grade my IQ test was in the top 10% of the state and got put in the “gifted” classes. I was doing algebra in 5th grade.…