Category: Uncategorized

I lost my virginity when I was 12. She was 14. She wasn’t a virgin and I knew it. I lied and told her I wasn’t a virgin either. I lost mine in a barn on a bale of hay. Out in the country. I’m talking back when Zebulon was nothing but dirt roads. One…

scares the shit out of my dog. Got tornadoes nearby and the thunder and lightning is scaring the fuck out of her. If one hits us maybe I’ll be transported to oz and meet the wizard.

She hurt me to the bone. I told her I love her like a daughter. She said “funny, you’ve never been a father figure.” I’ve never been an “upfront godfather”. I’ve always worked “behind the scenes”. Her mom wanted to make her wait until 18 before she could date… I thought that was ridiculous… I…

I’ve had a few girlfriends I’ve lived with, and some “casual” girls who have went to sleep on the couch. It was because when I fall asleep I turn into a furnace and the bed was too hot for them lol.

I make sketches for my goddaughter on a semi-regular basis. They normally take me 2-3 hours to make. But sometimes, I make one for the postal lady… her name is Jasmine. The mail people are under appreciated. So sometimes I make her one just to say thank you. I put it in the mailbox and…

First girl I ever truly loved. She broke up with me. Within 5 minutes … literally … she had the gall to ask me to drive her 30 minutes to drop her off at a get together with her friends. I started crying while I was driving her… keep in mind it was a 30…

When I was a kid living with my dad. We spent days cutting and dragging wood to a pile. By the time we were done it must have been 20 feet tall and 40 feet in diameter. He soaked it all in gas, made a gas trail back to where we were safe. He lit…

I used to love him. Then he pulled the whole “Chris Gains” bullshit. Tried to go “pop” by making up an alter ego. He even made a fake documentary about the life of “Chris Gains”. All that bullshit made everyone say “fuck him”. He was king of country at the time but it even made…

There’s a girlfriend I had once. I loved her enough to carry a .41 magnum for her. Even to a courthouse. If you read this you know if I’m talking about you.

I ain’t a big fan of his. I probably like about 20% of his music. But he died of a very painful cancer. So even when one of his songs I don’t like, I still sing along. RIP Mr. Keith.