Author: twoshadesoff

Once in high school I had a history teacher. He was known for his temper. He’d throw crap at students all the time. I can’t remember what I did to piss him off. It was probably nothing but talking or something. He threw a chair at my head… u just dipped my head to the…

You’re the only one that has ever cheated on me. I used to keep your picture on the dashboard of my car. You know who you are.

You have really hot women… except for their beards. Mountain women, I’ll buy you some clippers and razors.

If the evil witch died from water.. why didn’t Dorthy just spit on her and call it a day?

I love and hate you at the same time. I was never anything but good to you, and you knew I fell in love hard for you. You only took advantage of my generosity. You knew how I felt. Then you married someone else then ghosted me. I feel used. I would have married you.

The US has abandoned being a democracy and has turned into a police state. We’re just like Russia and China now. Oh and like the Nazis.

You gave me hell every day for nine months. You kept telling the world I was a deadbeat dad even before the baby was born. I had to find a lawyer and serve you with papers just to get you to stop badmouthing me to the world. The day you said I needed to sign…

You were the first woman I was able to love since my love before. I truly believe it’d have had a chance if I didn’t let your family dictate our relationship. It was ours, not theirs. I’ll forever have negative feelings about them.

She used to curl up on my chest and purr until I fell asleep. I named her Kitty cause I ain’t very original when it comes to naming animals. If I ever got a horse I’d name it Horse. If I ever got a fish I’d name it Fish. You get the idea. But Kitty…

a gay dude was hitting on me. I raised my fist like I was gonna hit him…. He raised his fist too. We just fist bumped hugged and went about our nights.