Category: Uncategorized

you were like a siren from Homer’s Odyssey first time I laid eyes on you…. It took me forever to get a date. You’ll forever be burned into my brain and heart. This applies to two of my biggest loves.

I love how our president (he who shall not be named) keeps sending troops to silence us. I guess he thinks if we exercise our 1st amendment right to free speech we deserve to be shot.

I still hate underwear. That’s all.

Maybe more than once I’ve done something that’d have gotten me life in prison. Didn’t hurt anyone or anything but it’d be a life sentence.

I’m forever grateful to you. I couldn’t figure out that song I loved so much. You told me it was teardrop by massive attack. Then every time I was at the club I’d give you a nod and you’d play it for me. Pretty sure it was cause you wanted in my pants but that’s…

Two of them came to arrest me for an outstanding warrant. I had to get dressed (I was bucked naked) and get stuff like my wallet phone and shit. before jail. Told them “give me a minute”. One of them asked “are we going to have any problems with you?” I told them “anyone who’s…

the world was freaked out about y2k. I was the supervisor of an IT department. Everyone thought the bug…. Which was real, would end the world. I knew better cause everyone had already patched it so it was a “fuck it we already fixed it” kind of thing. The owner of the company was paranoid…

You promised a better economy but it’s only been getting worse. Ypu also promised more jobs but all you’ve done so far is fire everyone. Oxymoron?

I was dating you, you were/are an amazing artist. we were going to a party once. You decided to make your entire dress out of duct tape. It looked amazing. We had to leave the party early though. You made it too tight. Eventually you started having trouble breathing. Told me we had to get…

He just keeps on trying for a 2nd civil war. Or a 3rd world war. I’m dumb but I could still do better.